Slayer
by The Operator
Summary: This story is based off the wonder storyline of Buffy the vampire slayer, but based in an alternate dimension where the slayer is a guy. This is the introduction, much like in the show, right before the super cool introduction.
1. Chapter 1

"I don't think I should be here."

The tall figure didn't bother looking at the girl, he just kept a firm grip on the blonds dainty wrist, leading her further into the shadows. The girl giggled, blushing slightly.

"I mean, it is the first school night of the year. I need my sleep."

She said the last sentence with a tone of scandal, suggestion, as if she had any control, any idea what was going on. Damien grinned, he bright teeth flashing in the shadows He was getting excited - this was his favorite part. He loved the girls that thought they knew what they were doing.

"They let's not waste time." Breathed Damien, instantly turned around, the girl trapped in his iron grip. She moaned and reached up to him. Unbuttoning his shirt. She didn't know she was trapped yet Damien leaned down, kissing her neck hungrily. He was getting impatient, but he couldn't let it get the best of him. He hated it when he went to fast. The blond moaned again, her pulse quickened. Damien coulnd't wait anymore. Hes teeth flashed again and the girl moaned for the last time.

God, Damien had been right about this one. She tasted rich.

"Do you have to do that here?"

Damien groaned, looking up from his meal.

"I mean, honestly. It's kind of disgustiong. You never see me dragging my conquests home."

Damien laid the girl on the floor, pressing his wrist to her cold lips.

"Sol, why don't you go kill yourself a schoolgirl or something?" Damien asked "Your ruining the mood."

"Sol" stepped out from the doorway, his body pulsing a dark read color. "The good schoolgirls are all in bed by now."

Damien chuckle. The girl gurgled, almost choking on Damien's blood. Damien pulled his wrist away and began buttoning his shirt

"So, according to Alec, the big game starts tomarrow," he said smiling devishily. "You ready?"

Sol returned the smile. "Spawned Ready."


	2. Chapter 2

A sixteen-year-old boy walked hurriedly down an unlit street, his white button-up shirt contrasting sharply with the darkness around him. He was glaring angrily at his iPod, which glowed only to tell him that it had no bettery."Great," groaned Rhett, pocketing the useless device. He looked around, trying to remember if there were any shortcuts home. "I so need a car," he sighed, turning and walking down a random ally. It looked somewhat inviting... for an alley, felt a vibration in his pocket and paused. He pulled out his cell phone, the little machine shining brightly, casting long shadows everywhere. Rhett shivered. Freakin' shadows. He quickly typed out a reply to the text and shoved his phone into his pocket, immediately swallowing all the shadows into oblivion. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that someone was following him. He began walking faster, almost jogging down the alley. The only footsteps he could hear were his own... right?Abrubtlly, the alley ended. The small walkway opened up to a vast field of stones and monuments."Great. A graveyard."Then he could feel it. Not breathing, not a sound; not even the warmth of another person's presence. But he could feel it. "You know, if you're not careful," began Rhett, carefully walking forward, "Someone might think you were stalking me or something." He groped around inside his pocket. No, cell phone. Sweet! He did have some money! But...Something grabbed his shoulder, its grip harder than steel. The creature was leering, almost laughing, reaching for his neck with its other hand...WIth a sickening crunch, Rhett spun around and slammed his fist into the vampire's face. The vamp screamed and staggered back, only to be kicked against the alley wall. The vampire looked down at the blood pouring down its shirt from its nose. His eyes went wide, and he looked up at Rhett frantically."Slayer?"Rhett smirked, slamming the demon to the ground with a quick punch."You'll find that I don't like being interrupted during my alone time," he said, standing over the vampire. A look of victory appeared on his face, and he pulled a wooden stake out of his pocket. "Finally!" he said, smiling. "I so need a better way to store this thing."Face contorted with rage and hunger, the vampire stood up, fangs bared. Without even looking, Rhett plunged the stake into the demon's heart and walked away, leaving the vampire's remains to blow away in the gentle autumn breeze."Ah, I love it here," sighed Rhett, pocketing the stake. "Good to be back in to good 'ol -"

****

"Land of Enchantment, my ass," growled Carlos.

****

"Okay, first you take the natural log and..."

"Crud, this teacher is boring."Carlos turned his pentagram necklace in his hand slowly while he glanced at the teacher.

"Maybe you should put a spell on her!" Another student joked, causing the whole class to snicker at Carlos - a common event since he had moved to Albuquerque and started high school. A slight smirk grew on Carlos' face - just the idea of really shutting the teacher up was good to Carlos, even if the rest of the students were only joking.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," came a whisper from behind Carlos. "You wouldn't want to hurt a teacher, now, would you?"

"Who knows? Maybe I do want to," snapped Carlos. "And what makes you think I care about your opinion on it?"

"'Cause I'm Rhett."

"And why would I care?"

"Because Baby Jesus cares."

"Ya know, I could just shut you up."

"You won't," said Rhett, leaning back in his chair.

"What makes you think that?" Carlos asked, finally turning to face Rhett.

"'Cause you're really just a big teddy bear," Rhett said, breaking into silent turned back and shook his head.

"You're and idiot."Carlos walked into the room full of people, holding his lunch, glancing from side to side. His necklace swayed as he walked. Carlos took a seat at an open table in the corner of the room and started to eat silently.

"Lonely much?" Rhett's voice came down on Carlos' ears."I like being alone, okay? I don't need people," Carlos snapped back to Rhett, who had just taken a seat across from him.

"You're prety negative for a Wiccan, now aren't you?" Rhett asked dropped his spork.

"What do you know about Wiccans?"

"Not much, but I know you must be one, if your necklace means anything."Carlos grasped his pendant and let out a loud huff.

"So I guess you want something from me, then?" Carlos asked, picking up his spork and returning to his lunch. Rhett said nothing, he only got up from his seat and walked away slowly. Carlos didn't know what to think of it, so he just shook his head and continued eating his lunch alone.

"Are you sure, sir?" a young woman asked through her cell phone. "In this town?" She seemed to be trying to convince the person on the other end of something. "Yes, sir, I understand, but... yes sire, I understand." The young woman closed her phone and walked into her class room, shaking her head. "How am I supposed to find the Slayer if I don't even know what he looks like?"

"What a waste of a day," Carlos said, shaking his head as he left the front of the school and started to walk towards his house.

"HEY!" Rhett shouted from behind Carlos, waving his hand and walking towards him. Carlos froze for a second, but started to walk away quicklky. "Hey, Carlos!"

"Dammit, why did I tell him my name?" Carlos muttered to himself as he turned to face Rhett, who seemed to be quite intent on stalking him.

"Unfortunately, he seems to have followed me."

"I heard that you were going to Club 7 tonight, yeah?" Rhett asked, and then quickly continued, "I thought so."Carlos was too stunned to reply.


	3. Chapter 3

Carlos wasn't entirely sure why he had actually said "yes" to Rhett earlier. It was probably because Rhett hadn't even let him answer the question himself. But as Rhett slipped the ten dollar bill to the bouncer and slipped through the club's silver doors, disappearing into the dark abyss known as Club 7, Carlos really wished he had been more assertive. The bouncer eyed him warily, and Carlos quickly emptied out his pockets to show he had no weapons or anything. As if you need weapons in a club, he thought, smirking. The bouncer looked put off by the pentacle at Carlos' neck, but he ignored it and went on to the next person in line as Carlos handed him the cash.

The doors seemed to open slowly, almost ominously, as Carlos stepped into the club. He could barely see, his vision blurring almost instantly as the flashing lights swept across the dark room, assaulting Carlos' eyes. He winced, holding a hand above his eyes as he tried to see what was going on. Not that much was going on; the room was filled with a mass of teenage bodies all grinding together as one, sweat and sex lingering in the air, pounding techno music blaring across the room. Something grabbed Carlos' arm with inhuman strength, and Carlos reeled back, stifling a scream.

"Dude, relax. You act like you've never seen dancing before."Carlos looked down, surprised to see Rhett letting go of his arm. "Sorry," he said quickly.

"I thought you were... uh, someone else."Rhett laughed. "Well, don't get lost. I'd hate to have you go and die on my first day meeting you." With that, he made his way into the throbbing mass of flesh, his body quickly adapting to the pulsing beat of the club. Carlos just stood awkwardly, briefly wondering why Rhett thought a club could be deadly.

"Weird kid," he sighed, turning back and sitting at one of the lounge chairs. He closed his eyes, letting the music sweep over him. He could feel his pentacle tingling in reaction to all of the energy in the room, slowly warming against his chest. Soon the music and his heart were pulsing at the same tempo, and Carlos felt like he was floating in hazy cloud of ecstasy. His head leaned back slowly, his body melting into the seat...Something brushed against Carlos' arm. His hairs all stood on end, instantly reacting to the cold touch on his warm skin.

"Rhett, come on. I'm relaxing," he groaned, feeling too lazy to even look up.

"Excuse me?" asked a voice. A strikingly feminine voice. Carlos sat up girl was leaning over him, her long dark hair spilling past her shoulders, her cleavage scandalously visible from Carlos' vantage point. Her expression was strong and seductive, accentuated by her blood-red lipstick and flashing green eyes. Her hand gripped his arm firmly but suggestively, black fingernails sensually pressing into Carlos' flesh. She had Carlos' full attention. And she'd barely said two words.

"Oh... uh, sorry," sputtered Carlos. He gulped. "Can I help you?"The girl flashed a feral smile and tossed her hair back.

"Yeah, you looked kind of lonely sitting over here," she said, slowly dragging her hand down Carlos' arm, finally stopping as her fingers brushed against his.

"I was wondering if you'd like to... dance?"Carlos grinned more than he'd ever grinned in his life. His hands felt electric as her hand touched his. He nodded, and she took his hand and led him to the dance floor. She turned around to face him, moving his hands to rest on her hips.

Leather pants. Nice.

Her body moved slowly, sensually moving to the pulsing beat of the music, getting closer to Carlos' body with every note. The pentacle was on fire now, but Carlos didn't care. He could only stare in awe as her lithe body moved in closer... closer...

The world went black.

****

Carlos woke up with a screaming headache and familiar images of a girl in leather pants engraved into his memory.

But that was about it.

"What the fuck?" growled Carlos, sitting up and looking at his alarm clock. Seven o' clock. Great. He was gonna be late, and he didn't even know why.

As Carlos hurriedly went through his morning routines, he struggled to recall what had happened the night before... he vaguely recalled a dark room... pulsing music... leather pants. Carlos smiled in spite of his frustration. If he had to go all amnesia, it was a hell of a good memory to be stuck with.

Then an image came to him, a more important one - Rhett. Carlos could recall a fuzzy image of the new kid at some club... something like that.

"What a fucking dick!" exclaimed Carlos as all the pieces fell together in his mind. He'd been ditched at a party, by the new kid, no less. Carlos scowled and stormed out the door, wondering if it was too petty to hex the kid for it.

Nah. It would would be perfect.

"Dude! What happened to you last night?"

Rhett almost flinched as Carlos, instead of answering his question, shot the most piercing glare at him that he'd ever seen. And he'd seen some pretty hardcore ones; hell, he'd been glared at by creatures with more eyes than he felt like counting.

Ouch. Wonder what crawled up his ass.

A pink slip of paper slid across Rhett's desk, and he quickly grabbed at it, mistakenly hoping it was an explanation from Carlos or something. But as he held it up, he realized how wrong he was - it was not a simple note to cuss him out. Oh no, it was much worse: a summons. Only his second day of school, and some teacher was already calling him out of class. Great. Rhett shoved the paper into his pocket and stood up, sliding his backpack on. He tried to catch Carlos' attention, but the other boy didn't even look up as he walked by. That dick probably hexed me, he thought, walking out of the classroom and towards the room specified on the paper. What an ass.

A frustrated-looking woman who looked to be in about her mid-twenties sat at a desk in the middle of a very dark and very empty classroom. A dim table lamp illuminated her desk space, casting feeble light on assorted papers and overwhelmingly heavy-looking books. She tapped her long fingernails against the desk impatiently, casting a glance at the clock every few seconds.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the classroom door opened, and a teenage boy walked in, looking very disoriented.

"Whoa... this isn't creepy," he remarked, looking around. He pulled out a pink slip of paper from his pocket. "Are you Miss Kurtz? Is this where I'm supposed to be? Or did I make a wrong turn and end up in a slasher film?"

The woman nodded curtly, motioning to a desk in front of her own. Still looking wary, the teenager made his way to the seat and sat down.

"Well, Rhett, I'm sure you're wondering why I called you here," began the teacher, brushing a lock of her long, black hair out of her face.

"It's not to rape me, is it?"

She frowned, giving him a disapproving look.

"No. It is not to rape you, mister Butler," she said, trying her best to sound calm, "It is to answer questions I'm sure you're having."

Rhett laughed. "Well, it can't be the birds and the bees, because I heard that one a way back. And, honestly, I really don't have any questions about..." he looked around, reading the writing on the chalkboard. "... Nordic History? Um, yeah. I'm good."He stood up, but much to his surprise, Ms. Kurtz stood up abruptly as well.

"No, sit down," she said, sounding annoyed now. Rhett sat. The teacher picked up one of the large, leather-bound books on her desk and made her way around the front of her desk, so she was facing Rhett. She dropped the book on his desk and stood silently, waiting for the boy to read the title."Vampires? What does that have to do with the Norse?"

"Don't toy with me, Rhett. I know what you are. You are the Slayer," she said, pointing to him.

"And I," she continued, pointing at herself, "Am your Watcher."Rhett groaned.

"You see? That even sounds fun."She chose to ignore his statement.

"It is my vow and sacred duty to train you, to help you learn you heritage and the true powers as a Slayer. I will also be training you on how to fight in real combat."The boy laughed.

"Yeah, you look like you could help me a lot there."

The woman opened her mouth to say something, but Rhett cut her off.

"Look, it's nice that you want to help and all, but I really don't need it. Now I have somewhere else to be, so if you'll excuse me?"He stood up and made his way to the door. He paused as he opened the door, then turned back to the teacher."Kurtz, right? Well, I hope you have a good life, because I don't need a Watcher or whatever. See you around."With that, he walked out the woman was still scowling at the desk where he had been sitting.

"You bet you will, you little snot. You're still signed up for my class for the rest of the year," she said to the air. It was around lunchtime when Rhett finally managed to find Carlos. It was as if he had been avoiding him all day or something, but Rhett couldn't figure out why. He had been sure that Carlos was already gone when he had left to go slay that DJ with the horrible music taste... right? He sighed, not bothering to over-think the situation. Carlos was sitting silently beneath a tree all by himself, reading some book.

"I wonder why I even try," Rhett said beneath his breath, making his way over to Carlos.

"What's up, Los?" he said emphatically, sitting down next to the other boy.

"Nothing. And don't call me that," spat Carlos, trying to edge away from his new seating partner. He pulled his leather-bound book closer to his face, as if it could shut the blonde teenager out.

"What are you reading?" asked Rhett, grabbing the book from Carlos' hands.

"HEY!" yelled Carlos, trying to grab the book back from the other teen, but he wasn't fast enough.

"Dude, this is a spell book? I had no idea you were actually this good."Carlos snatched the book back defensively.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"Rhett shrugged.

"I dunno. I just kinda thought you were the type that was content with using magic to get A's in class and hex kids you don't like. But you, 'Los, are pretty hardcore."

"Yeah, I am. And I don't hex people," he growled.

"Whatever," replied Rhett airily.

"So what's been up with you all day?"

"You know exactly what," answered Carlos let out a breath of admission. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... I just... ugh, you wouldn't get it."

"Oh please."

"No, seriously!" exclaimed Rhett. "I had a good reason. A very good reason."Carlos rolled his eyes.

"Prove it."Rhett's eyes lit up as an idea popped into his mind. He looked at Carlos with a giant smile on his face.

"Fine. I will."


	4. Chapter 4

"Carlos, you are coming with me tonight, and that's final. Quit being a scaredy cat," commanded Rhett, relentless in his quest to get Carlos to go out on another patrol. He'd been bothering Carlos about for the past hour, even passing Carlos notes in the middle of math class, but Carlos still hadn't given in.

"Scaredy cat? Seriously?" asked Carlos derisively, completely ignoring the point of Rhett's nagging.

"Okay, so it's a lame insult. But whatever. You're coming."

"No, I'm not," groaned Carlos, starting to sound kind of angry."I can not hang out tonight, so deal with it, okay? You can handle yourself; you don't need me anyways."

"That's not the point!" yelled Rhett. A few kids turned their heads, wondering what the new kids was getting so upset about. Carlos looked sheepishly at them, but Rhett seemed oblivious to their stares.

"I don't care what the point is, okay? I can't come tonight. And that's final." With that, he strode away from Rhett, shoving his way past the other students, leaving his companion standing alone in the hall.

"FINE! See if I care!" yelled Rhett. Carlos ducked his head, hoping no one would annoyed him that Rhett couldn't just take no for answer; it wasn't like he didn't want to go. Since the night at the graveyard, Carlos had been itching to see another vampire, especially after Rhett had given him one of his wooden stakes. He also had a few questions about what had happened the last time: how in the world had his barrier failed so miserably? He was never really good with the literal translation of his spells, so maybe the answer was in the name. He made a mental note to look it up later, but right now he had somewhere else to be. He groaned inwardly as he walked out of the high school and headed off. I'd so rather be dying at the hands of some vampire.

"Don't let it get the upper hand!"

"I know," growled Rhett, kicking the vampire's knee in with a sickening crunch.

"You know it's the heart, and not the knee, that kills them, right?" asked Ms. Kurtz, sitting primly on a gravestone, her long black hair in a careful ponytail, an open notebook in her lap.

"Yes, I know, alright?" answered Rhett, punching the vampire in the face with his left hand as he fumbled around in his pocket with his right. The vampire reeled back, holding its face in pain. With an animalistic growl, the demon lunged at Rhett, but was met with a stake plunging through its heart.

"Is there a reason your slaying is so unsafe?" asked Kurtz, jotting something down in the book. "I've noticed that you're rather sloppy."

"Well it's hard to reach for my stake in the heat of battle, okay?" said Rhett, putting the weapon back in his pocket. "As if you'd understand what that's like."

"I see," said Kurtz, jotting something else down.

"Honestly, Kurtz, why are you even here?" asked Rhett, facing the teacher. "I really don't need your little slaying lesson. As you can see, the vampire is dead, and I am not. That's all I really need to know."

"Ashley," she said, standing up and pocketing her writing utensil.

"What?"

"You may call me Ashley. I was given a forename for a reason."Rhett paused awkwardly, not sure what to say. "But as for your little tirade, all I can say is that my help will be an invaluable asset if you will bother to pay attention. Now shall we continue our patrol?"

Rhett shook his head. "Nah, that's it for tonight... Ashley. I mean, six vampires in one night is more than I've ever seen during one patrol, so I'm sure there's not anymore. Plus, I'm kind of craving a crack nugget..."

Ashley eyed him curiously. "Excuse me? I hope I don't know what you're referring to..."

Rhett ignored her and made his way out of the graveyard, and Kurtz had no choice but to follow. After all, she still had to explain all about the uses of Eastern-Indo asanas in slaying.

"So... this is where you get your drug fix?" asked Ashley, looking around officiously. The McDonald's parking lot was nearly empty, save for the few cars of the employees, and the streetlights throughout the lot seemed to be brighter than a supernova. The golden arches glowed garishly above the small building, casting a cheery yet strange gleam on the outdoor playplace.

"It's not really drugs," answered Rhett impatiently, opening the lobby door for Ashley and following her inside. "At least I don't think it is."

Ashley finally realized that it was pointless to continue trying to figure out what in the world the teenager was talking about. Rhett stood in front of the counter, not even bothering to scan the menu. He knew exactly what he wanted... now if only someone was actually at a register...

"Um, hell-O!" called Rhett. "Anyone gonna take my order?"The sound of the McDonald's employees all telling each other to go get the customer echoed around the back for a little bit, and finally the unlucky employee emerged from the back, head hanging down defeatedly.

'Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order..."

"Carlos?"The employee's head snapped up, recognizing the voice instantly."Shit."

"Carlos, you work here? Why didn't you tell me?" asked Rhett, staring at Carlos, and trying to hide his grin at the sight of Carlos' hair sticking out from the top of the McDonald's visor. Carlos' face slowly seemed to be draining of its color, almost completely going white when he noticed Kurtz standing behind Rhett.

"So! This is why you couldn't hang out tonight!" laughed Rhett.

Carlos gulped.

"Ah... um, how may I help you?"

****

Carlos slowly walked the halls of Sandia High, looking side to side, his pentacle clutched in his hand tightly. His fellow peers seemed to notice his unusually strange behavior and kept their distance - not that he was usually Mister Popular, but still. Carlos walked into his nearly empty classroom and took a seat. The junior class was taking a mass feild trip, and being a sophomore, he was one of the few students left in the class. He looked around at all the empty desks and the four other students in the class: he recognized a couple other sophomores, some girl named Gwen and and a boy named Sean. Across the room sat an empty desk where a boy named Adrian had sat at the beginning of the year before he had mysteriously dropped out. Carlos sighed, then sighed even louder as the substitute teacher slid a worksheet onto his desk. Life was just not fair.

Rhett, on the other hand, was focused on not being focused. The teenage boy sat idly in his desk, drumming his fingers across the surface, wondering if he had enough money to buy a ten piece nugget meal after school... had he already spent that five dollars he'd snagged off the vampire last Wednesday? He couldn't remember. Ashley, his Watcher, was explaining to him improvements that Rhett could make to his slaying, apparently oblivious to how oblivious her Slayer was to her lecture.

"... my notes indicated that training in a more varied arsenal of weaponry would benefit you. But most importantly, you need keep your stake in your hand so you don't have to worry about pulling it out, and thus avoid..." Ashley took her eyes off her notebook for just a moment and paused, looking at Rhett with a deadly glare. "Mister Butler! Have you heard a single word I've said?"

Rhett still lost in a sea of nothingness, or rather his mind, didn't even flinch at Ashley's "outburst," considering the teacher's inside voice wasn't very threatening at all. With one swift movement, Ashley's notebook slapped across Rhet''s head, snapping him out of his daydream's of crack nuggets and Dr Pepper."Wha?" Rhett stammered, to find his bearings,

"Do you have any idea..." Ring! The bell for the next class sounded and Rhett seized his chance to leave, making a quick dash for the door, and what little freedom school could bring.

"Geez, that was a waste of time... I mean, worksheets? What a stupid teacher," Carlos muttered on his way out of his class, clutching his pentacle once again. "I should just..."

"Carlos!" Rhett's voice echoed in Carlos' head as he froze in his place. "What's up?"

"Oh fuck..." Carlos whispered to himself before quickly turning to face his new friend. "Nothin', man. Nothing at all."

"Well you're like a real live Happy Meal now, aren't you? No wonder you work at McD -." Suddenly Carlos' hand glowed, and an invisible barrier was erected around the two of them, blocking all sound. Rhett's voice was temporarily silenced, and Carlos was already talking before Rhett could continue.

"Yes, I work there, but no one can know, alright? Don't talk about it here."

Rhett laughed. "Well why not? What's wrong with McDonald's?"

"It's just..." Carlos groaned. "It doesn't matter. Just don't."Rhett opened his mouth to speak, and Carlos shot him a warning look. Sounds came flooding back as the barrier dissolved, letting in the loud sound of the bell ringing.

"Well, whatever. Carlos, wanna hangout with me for awhile? Ashley probably has some books you could read." Rhett said, as the hallways emptied slowly.

"Fine," Carlos responded, not sounding at all kind or happy. Rhett looked at him warily, wondering what the hell was wrong, but decided this wasn't the best time to bother him about it.

"Ah, Rhett you're back. So do you plan to actually listen now?" Ashley asked, not looking up from her paper work.

"Damn, this is like the wrong end of a slasher movie." Carlos commented as he entered the room.

"Nordic History? That's an odd subject."

"That's what I said when I first came here," Rhett laughed back. "Oh, and... this is Ms. Kurtz. She's the teacher, but I guess you can call her Ashley. But yeah, she doesn't just teach Nordic History, she... Carlos?"Carlos seemed very preocupied as he stared out the window, his eyes fixed on one girl walking slowly by the window.

"It seems like your friend has some of your same qualities," Ashley smirked as she rose from her desk and flipped through her notebook slowly,

"Are you ready to continue?" she asked, seemingly unfased that she was in the presence of a student that wasn't the Slayer.

"Carlos?" Rhett grabbed Carlos' shoulder and turned him slightly, but Carlos kept his eyes focused on the window until the girl was gone, which finally snapped him out of his daydream."Wha?"

"This is Ashley, my 'Watcher'."

"Its nice to meet you, I understand that you're a Wiccan," said Ashley cordially. "Please feel free to read the books on the lowest shelf of that bookshelf," Ashley said as she slowly pushed Rhett away from his shell shocked friend. Carlos turned towards the bookshelf Ashley had indicated, and his eyes lit up. Without a word, he pulled one off the shelf and began reading with more enthusiasm than Rhett had ever seen him display.

"Okay, that was wierd..." Rhett thought as he turned away from Carlos and started to study the notes that Ashley had taken the night before.


	5. Chapter 5

"As your Watcher, I must urgently protest this decision," said Ashley, repeating herself for the thousandth time. Or at least it seemed like the thousandth time to Rhett, who just rolled his eyes at the young woman.

"Well I 'urgently protested' to lugging this stupid thing around, but you didn't budge on that," retorted Rhett, lifting up a large broadsword to emphasize his point. "Besides, with this thing slowing me down, I'll need all the help I can get."Ashley sniffed piously.

"My notes indicated that you would profit from training in more weapons than your stake. Besides," she added, a smirk playing on her lips, "Slowing you down isn't really a problem."Rhett's eyes widened.

"Hey! It's not my fault that it's so hard to pull a stake out from my pocket! Why don't you try it sometime, huh?"Ashley allowed herself to smirk for a moment, but then her face returned to its usual state, a picture of businesslike apathy.

"Regardless of your dislike for even the slightest change in your armory, I feel that my case stands. It is not wise to bring a citizen along while you put your very life in danger!"Carlos looked up from the stake in his hand for the first time since Rhett had handed it to him.

"Um, sorry to interrupt you two lovebirds, but isn't it more convenient for me to use magic or something?" he asked, holding up the stake. "I can't really use this thing."Ashley shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but no. We cannot rely on your magic, especially after that fiasco with the barrier last time."Carlos sighed, while Rhett stared miserably at his sword.

"I don't know what went wrong!" complained Carlos, "I've used that spell a thousand times. Well, maybe only like seven, but still. It always works on people..." He looked dejectedly at the ground. Suddenly, an idea went off in his mind, and he looked up at Ashley with excitement. "Hey, maybe you know what was wrong with the spell! Do you know why a Victus Tutamen spell would go wrong like that?"Ashley's eyebrows raised in surprise for just a second, and her already pale complexion seemed to go a shade lighter.

"No..." she said calmly, her voice steady and thoughtful. "I can't think of why that wouldn't work." She looked down, then looked back to Carlos. "But that is exactly why we cannot rely on your magic."

Suddenly, the sound of a twig snapping echoed across the graveyard, sounding marginally louder than it really had been. Everyone snapped to attention, looking around cautiously.

"Game faces on, people," said Rhett, holding up his sword. Ashley stepped back, pulling out her notebook and pen. Carlos' eyebrows furrowed as he gripped the stake tightly in his hand, waiting for anything to jump out at looked over at Carlos' serious expression and smirked. "Aw, come on Carlos! Put a smile on!"

Carlos looked at Rhett with a disapproving glare. Ashley scribbled something down, so it would look like she understood.

"Ah, looks like dinner came to us tonight," hissed a voice. Rhett looked at the vampire.

"Yeah, we're the delivery boys, it looks like," he said. "But guess who's getting the tip!" He leapt forward, swinging his blade snickered.

"Seriously, Rhett? 'The tip?'"

"Shut up!" yelled Rhett, jabbing at the demon. The vampire dodged, only to get cut on the leg. Carlos opened his mouth to reply, but a vampire came out of nowhere and lunged at him. Carlos blocked his body with his arms, flinging the vampire onto the ground.

"Just tell me if you need any help," said Rhett, jumping and kicking his vampire in the head.

"I've got this," said Carlos, brandishing his vampire looked at Carlos skeptically, judging whether or not he could win this fight. Yes, he decided, he definitely could. With inhuman speed, the vampire rushed behind Carlos, grabbing his right arm and lunging for the neck...Before the vampire could make contact with his neck, Carlos twisted around and stabbed the vampire in the neck with his stake. The vampire screamed and fell back, clutching his neck where the wooden stake had penetrated the skin.

Carlos stepped towards the vampire, and the vampire scrambled to his feet, suddenly rethinking his odds of winning. The vampire turned to run, but suddenly felt immobile. He looked down frantically, only to see the ground had come up and encased his feet. With a roar, the vampire ripped his right foot out from the ground, but it was too late. Carlos punched the vampire to the ground and staked him in the heart. As the demon exploded into dust, Carlos stood up slowly, a victorious smile on his face. Ashley clapped softly, taking notes at the same time. Rhett bounded over to Carlos, singing happily.

"Ba-da-ba-ba-ba! I'm lovin' it!"

Carlos glared.


	6. Chapter 6

A dark, mournful voice poured from the speakers, floating across a sea of violin notes and techno beats, creating a an eerie tone in the dark room, despite the flashing lights and the throng of young men and women gyrating their bodies to the pulsing beat of the music.

A tall, hooded man slowly made his way through the dancefloor, taking careful, methodic steps as he didn't say anything, or motion for anyone to move out of the way as he walked; the people all just knew that they didn't want to be in the cloaked man's way.

The man continued walking through the club, finally stopping at a booth in the back of the building. The booth was already full, with two handsome-looking men, one with wild, shaggy blonde hair, and the other with short, black hair, and two big-busted young women on either side of the blonde. The cloaked man stood ominously at the end of the table, not saying a word. Both of the men looked up instantly.

"Wow, fancy seeing you out here! Now don't go and get a life without telling us, Alec!" exclaimed the brunette with a mischievous cloaked man didn't respond.

"Ignore Sol," said Damien. "Why are you here?"

"You," answered Alec, his voice like a dark echo, "You two are not fulfilling your duties. The hour is fast approaching, yet here you are, mingling with filthy mortals."

Sol smiled. "Aw, come on, Alec! Don't be so hard on mortals... after all, your mom is one. Or at least she was last night."

The air seemed to thicken, and Alec raised his hand quickly.

"Silence," he roared, flinging a bolt of lightning at the brunette. Sol just laughed as his body absorbed the attack, his body crackling with voltage for a moment before returning to normal. Damien rolled his eyes.

"We are fulfilling our ends of the deal, Alec," said Damien. "My army is growing. What else do you want from me?"

"To keep an eye on your army," hissed Alec. "It is definitely not growing."

Damien laughed. "Oh, really? And why is that? Are you scared of some little Slayer picking off one or two vampires a week?"

"Seventeen were slain last night. Seventeen," retorted Alec. "He is a problem. Remove it."With that, Alec turned and walked away, disappearing into the shadows.

Damien sat rigid, stunned by the news.

"Mm, I can tell you're frustrated," said Sol. "I think I'm gonna split. Go get me some candy," he said deviously, looking over at a tall blonde football player that looked completely out of his element in the club.

"You're not his type," growled Damien."Oh, but I am," answered Sol, his voice suddenly feminine. Where Sol had been sitting, now sat a teenage girl, no older than sixteen, with curly brown hair, long eyelashes, and an unmistakable aura of devious seduction. She giggled and stood up, making her way over to the boy.

"Ta-ta, Damien! Hope you can work everything out!"

Damian slammed his fist against the table and stormed out, leaving the two girls to wonder how they should try and put the two halves of the table together again.

****

Two dark figures sat ominously in the abnormally dark parking lot, beneath a street lamp that should have been on, but like all the rest in the parking lot, was mysteriously out. The night sky was dark and cloudy, and the two figures were illuminated only by a small candle held by the shorter figure. The slightest breeze wafted through the lot, causing the candle flame to flicker, dangerously close to being extinguished. The taller figure took in a deep breath, and all sound seemed to stop.

"Suus pectus pectoris ago diligo..."

A powerful burst of wind swept through the lot, causing the girl to shiver. The wind swirled around Gwen, lifting up her hair and giving renewed life to the flame of the candle.

"Solvo ut orbis terrarum..."

The flame burnt a deep passionate red, reaching almost eleven inches into the sky. Gwen's eyes were focused in, unblinking, her body rigid with awe and fear. Her breathing was fast, almost panicked from the rush of energy flowing through her.

"Reverto ut suus vultus verus..."

Carlos raised his hand, a dim glow from his neck shining through his shirt, illuminating the shape of a small pentacle. A second light emulated from his hand, surrounding it with a deep purple glow. The flame's light exploded with sudden intensity.

"Facio verus!"

The wind lifted Gwen off the ground for only an instant, and her eyes sparkled with magical energy and hope for just one second as the candle's flame went out with a hiss. A smile of utter bliss grew on her goth-rocker-ish face as she shakily set the candle on the ground. The wind disappeared completely, and the sound of a cricket in the distance shattered the spell of silence around the two. The street lamps flickered back to life.

He really did it, thought Gwen, as images of her secret love flooded her mind. She stood up slowly, a triumphant smile on her face.

He's gonna be mine.

***

Thump.

Carlos boredly plopped down a Big Mac box onto the tray in front of him, staring absentmindedly forward as the customer came forward and took their meal. Carlos smiled unconsciously at the woman as she walked away, and continued to stand still. He had a lot on his mind. As usual.

"Shh..." a young girl giggled as she quietly crept up on the unsuspecting Carlos. With one swift move, she opened the back of his shirt and dropped an ice cube down his shirt, and Carlos let out a small yelp as his back arched out, his body seeming to freeze up entirely in the comical pose. Laughter sounded out from the front of the store, and Carlos struggled to get out the ice from his shirt. Finally, Carlos succeed in ripping his tucked in shirt from his pants, and the ice cube fell to the floor and shattered.

Carlos turned and glared at the girl, but she wasn't paying attention to him anymore, already busy readying another meal for a customer in the drive-through. A smile formed on Carlos' face, and he quickly grabbed and handful of ice.

With the stealth of a cat, he walked behind the young woman and dropped the entire hand full of ice cubes into her shirt. The girl screamed, and Carlos began to laugh hysterically as she hopped, skipped, and jumped around the front of the store.

"I knew it!"

Carlos froze instantly, a sheepish look taking over his face.

Shit. Him.

Carlos turned around, the guilty look replaced by a cheesy smile.

"Hey, it's Rhett!" Carlos said in a cheerful tone. His smile faltered, and he leaned in close to Rhett.

"If you ever tell anyone at school that I'm really nice, you won't ever say anything again. Got it?" Carlos whispered threateningly.

"Oh, psh.

I knew you weren't always all serious. Now I know I was right when I called you a big ol' teddy bear!" Rhett laughed. Carlos frowned.

***

Gwen had never loved this place quite like she did tonight.

Club Seven had always been one of the most badass places in town.

Granted, it was like the only cool place in town, but never had Gwen seen it through such rose-colored lenses. The lights had never shined so brightly, casting dazzling colors across the floor, illuminating the bright faces of loving teenage couples throughout the room. The music's pulsing beat seemed to mimic Gwen's heartbeat, accelerating slowly as she felt her excitement grow. Tonight was the night. He would come to her. He knew where she was.

She could feel it.

He could feel her.

Gwen took a sip of her drink and tried to calm herself. She didn't want to seem completely tense when he got there, and even worse, she definitely didn't want to look flustered in front of her friends. Definitely not cool. She set her Coke down and scanned the room, feigning indifference, like she was just searching for anyone worth knowing.

Then she felt it.

A hand gripped Gwen's shoulder, and she froze.

"Gwen," he whispered.

It took all of Gwen's self-restraint to keep herself from blushing. Or turning around and throwing her arms around the boy behind her. Or fall off her chair, even. Gwen was psyched, to say the least.

The hand on her shoulder slowly trailed down her arm, and then he took her hand, turning her towards him.

"You came," smiled Gwen, looking up at Adrian's face.

"Of course I did," he said, staring lovingly into her eyes. "Nothing can ever keep us apart."

Gwen's mouth couldn't even form words.

"Dance with me?" he asked. He didn't wait for a reply, just gently pulled her off the chair and led her to the dancefloor. Gwen knew she was beaming - her cheeks were almost hurting from smiling - but she couldn't stop herself. Everything had turned out so perfectly. Adrian took her into his arms, enveloping her into his body. She felt somewhat conscious, noticing that Adrian's heart wasn't beating as wildly as hers, his skin wasn't burning with intense passion like hers was. But it didn't matter, she was here, in his arms. Time seemed to stop.

"Um, excuse me? May I have this dance?"

Gwen's head snapped up, her dreamworld shattered. Time was going again, and some boy was smartly tapping Adrian on the shoulder.

"You and I, we have some things to discuss," said the boy to Adrian. "Does what we had mean nothing? I can't believe you'd leave me for her."

Adrian's expression was a mixture of confusion and disgust. Gwen's was basically rage.

"Get the fuck out of here, asshole," she growled, gripping onto Adrian protectively. "He's mine."

The boy smiled pleasantly, almost infuriatingly so. "Oh, but me and him? We go way back. I'm sorry he dragged you into this."

"What is he talking about, Adrian?" asked Gwen, looking up at the beautiful teenage boy. Adrian didn't respond, just glared at the other boy.

"Okay, are we done here? You, me, outside. Now," commanded the boy, pulling Adrian away from Gwen.

"Why wait? Right here is good," retorted Adrian. Suddenly, to Gwen's horror, Adrian's face contorted hideously. His forehead seemed to ripple into a permanent scowl, and fangs replaced Adrian's usually perfect teeth. Gwen pulled back in fear, but Adrian didn't notice. He turned around and slammed his fist into Rhett's face, sending him crashing to the ground.

"Adrian!" screamed Gwen.

"This will all be over in a second, baby," assured Adrian.

"If that," said Rhett, standing up quickly and delivering a punch to Adrian's stomach. Adrian reeled back, almost running into Gwen. Gwen continued to scream, but the music drowned her out.

"It'll be, okay," soothed Adrian, gently brushing Gwen's face. Gwen flinched and stepped back again. Adrian's eyebrow's raised.

"What is it? What's wrong, baby?"

"Most people call it being a 'butterface,'" said Rhett, yanking Adrian away from Gwen and throwing him back to the floor.

"This isn't over, Slayer," hissed Adrian, standing up, "Gwen, I'll find away for us to be together! Nothing can keep us apart!"

With that, Adrian disappeared into the crowd of teenagers.

Rhett looked over at Gwen. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

Gwen nodded slowly.

She hated this place.

***

"And this happened to who?"

"Gwen," answered Rhett. "It was insane. What really surprised me was that no one even seemed to notice there was a vamp and a Slayer throwing down in the middle of a dancefloor! This town..."

"Wow, that sucks..." mumbled Carlos, suddenly feeling a shred of guilt. Rhett looked over at Carlos, and noticed the strange look in his eyes.

"Why? Do you know her or something?"

Carlos shook his head. "Nah."

Rhett opened his mouth, ready to press further, but Ashley interrupted before he could confirm his doubts.

"Well, I'm glad that your ditching of your patrolling duties led to some good being done," the Watcher said primly. "I suppose I'll have to put a note in the Watcher diaries that wasting a night to frivolous dancing does indeed save lives."

Carlos and Rhett looked at each other. They could never tell if she was trying to make a joke or not.

"Now, Rhett, if we may continue in your training in the use of Indo-Eastern meditation. I've brought some of my personal collection of ionic crystals - "

Rhett groaned loudly, and Ashley stopped mid-sentence, shooting him a sharp look.

"You object?"

"This is dumb," protested Rhett. "Crystals have never helped me slay before."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes.

Simply because you have never used something before, it is obviously going to remain useless to you for your entire life."

Rhett nodded in agreement.

"Alright," conceded Ashley, putting her glasses on. "Then I think it's time for a Nordic History pop quiz." She took a test from the desk and held it out for Rhett.

"Ah! What are you talking about?" asked Rhett, edging back from the paper in her hand like it was poison.

"Well, you are enrolled in Nordic History, so it is my responsibility to make sure you are learning the material."

Rhett's eyes widened in fear. "But this isn't really a Nordic History class! I don't know anything about the Nordics or whatever!"

Ashley smiled maliciously, and Rhett finally understood.

"As I was saying, the crystals I've brought in today should help heighten your awareness of the ether..." began Ashley, setting down the pop quiz and making her way over to the corner of the room. Rhett followed grudgingly, not listening to a word she was saying.

Carlos chuckled at Rhett's misfortune, but he was actually grateful that Ashley had chosen to hold another mediation session today. Besides Ashley's occasion beratement of Rhett's inability to concentrate, it left the room quiet.

Carlos pulled out a Latin-to-English dictionary from his backpack, then took a few books on barrier spells from the shelves.

He was going to figure this out.


	7. Chapter 7

Something bumped into her, and Gwen froze instantly. It took her three seconds to realize that it had just been another student hurrying down the hallway that had bumped into her; it took another twelve seconds for her to slow her breathing back to normal.

Last night had been the most horrifying night of Gwen's life, and all day she had been on edge. Her fight or flight instinct had been on overdrive, and more often than not, she felt like going into "fight" mode. It occurred to her that, just maybe, coming to school hadn't been such a good idea today. But at the same time, she really didn't think some guy, some guy whose face looked like an angry bulldog, was worth her attendance record.

Except that she could still feel him.

It took another five seconds to get her breathing down again.

It wasn't the end of the world, Gwen rationalized. There had been guys before Adrian, and there would always be guys after. Her mind wandered Justin, and for the first time all day, a hint of a smile grew on her face. He was really nice, and he seemed to be interested in her. If she hadn't been so focused on Adrian, she would have liked to date him.

Gwen smiled. Yup, Justin was the guy. A confident stride took over Gwen's step, and she was even able to shove the eerie feeling of her connection to Adrian into the back of her mind. Finally Gwen arrived at her locker, and her heart swelled at the sight of a rose taped to the door of her locker, and a post-it that had her name simply scrawled on it. She pulled the rose off, and from the way it looked, Gwen could tell that it had probably been taped on sometime the night before. But a slightly wilted flower was definitely better than nothing.

With a happy sigh, Gwen sniffed the rose while she opened her locker. This definitely had to be Justin's work, right? She put the rose in her pocket and twirled the combination lock, and it popped open. Gwen took off the lock and opened her locker door.

drip.

Gwen's breath caught in her throat.

drip.

A piece of string had been attached to the roof of Gwen's locker, and the other end of the string was tied around a fairly large fishing hook.

drip.

Beneath the string, an index card sat, slowly becoming saturated with a dark burgundy color. In different handwriting than had been on the post-it, a message said "Would he have given you his heart?"

drip.

Jabbed onto the hook, a bloody organ sat suspended in the center of Gwen's locker, slowly dripping blood down into her locker. A human heart.

Gwen didn't scream. She closed her eyes and slammed her locker shut.

Fuck this shit.

***

"Now, envisioning your verdant chakra, inhale deeply. Try to think of the air as a more than just oxygen, but as a life source, the energy that sustains all things..." said Ashley hypnotically, holding a crystal steadily in her outstretched palm.

Rhett took in a deep breath. And sneezed.

Ashley frowned. "Really, Rhett?"

Rhett looked indignantly at the Watcher.

"Well, excuse me.

Do you ever dust this place?"

"That's really not the point," said Ashley. "You should be able to control yourself enough to avoid breaking the meditation. And we already covered the physical chakra anyways - your physical needs should not be interrupting at this point. Have you been listening to any of my instructions?"

"What does chakra have to do with a freakin' sneeze?" complained Rhett. "I still think this is really - "

The door slammed open, and instinctively Rhett stood up, positioned to fight even before the door hit the wall. His posture instantly relaxed as he saw Gwen walk in.

"Gwen? What are you -?"

Gwen stormed up to Rhett, her eyes blazing with fury.

"What the hell is going on?"

Rhett stammered, trying to find an answer, but he was too taken aback to say anything.

"First! First I go on a stupid date and you interrupt it. What the fuck is that, hitting on my boyfriend? Are you gay or something? And then you start fighting him and then he leaves and now I've been freaking out all day to find THIS!" she ranted, her voice getting louder and louder with every syllable.

"Calm down," said Rhett, trying to ease her into sitting at a desk. Gwen didn't budge. "What did you find?"

"A heart! A fucking human heart in my locker! What the fuck is going on?"

Rhett shot a look at Ashley, but she was already at her desk, calling in the police to inform them of Gwen's little surprise.

"Do you know whose heart it was?" asked Carlos, setting down his book and walked over.

Gwen whipped around furiously. "YOU!" she screamed, lunging at Carlos. She delivered a sharp kick to Carlos' shin that sat him back down in his desk. "This is all your fault!"

Ignoring the pain in his shin, Carlos glared apprehensively at the small girl. "My fault? How is this my fault? I didn't know you were jonesing for a total psycho!"

"Your spell probably caused it!" yelled Gwen, kicking his shin again.

"Spell?" asked Rhett, raising his eyebrow.

"It wasn't a big deal! She just paid me to perform a love spell on her!" exclaimed Carlos, holding his shin.

"It made him insane! He ripped out Justin's heart!"

"What were you thinking, Carlos?" asked Rhett, stepping in between Gwen and Carlos before she could draw blood. "A love spell to make a vampire stalk her? Smooth move."

"I didn't know!" protested Carlos. "She's the one who should know about her secret love being a blood-sucking fiend!"

"What the fuck? Vampire?"

***

Gwen gently closed the door behind her, careful not to wake her parents. They were stressed enough after today's events - nowhere near as shaken as Gwen was, but whatever. Old people needed their sleep.

She stepped out onto the porch, instantly wishing she had put on a jacket before she'd left. Winter was moving in, and it was getting way too cold to wear short sleeves anymore. But what had she worn? Short sleeves, of course.

Nonetheless, the crisp autumn air felt good on her skin, filled her with refreshing clarity as she inhaled the cold air. And she definitely needed clarity at this point - as if the whole heart ordeal wasn't bad enough in itself, she'd been pulled out of school and questioned by the police for hours concerning her relationship with Justin, how she'd found the heart, and they'd even thrown in an extra hour for Gwen to speak to a psychologist about "how she felt" about finding Justin's heart in her locker.

How the fuck did they think she felt? She still didn't know what to make of Rhett and Carlos either. They were strange kids, and she hadn't known that they knew each other - it made everything seem so much more suspicious, especially their claims that vampires were real. She just didn't know what to believe.

Shaking her head to clear it of all the cluttered thoughts, Gwen walked off into the night, taking in more of the cold air and welcoming the clarity that followed.

"Did you get my gift, baby?"

Gwen stopped, trying not to let the fear freeze her veins.

"What do you want from me?" she hissed.

Adrian stepped out from the shadows and took Gwen's hand. "I want you, Gwen. Forever. Isn't that what love is?"

Gwen glared daggers at his hand as he touched her. "Love sure as hell isn't ripping out people's hearts. At least not in the realm of the sane."

Adrian smiled deviously. "Love makes us all crazy, babe."

"God, and people wonder why I don't date," groaned Rhett, appearing out of nowhere and yanking Adrian's hand away from Gwen. Adrian just smiled.

"Somehow I imagined you'd be here," he said. "You're always in the way. And you know I won't let anyone stand between me and my love for Gwen."

"Get me out of the way, then," challenged Rhett, holding his arms out. "Let's see what you've got."

Adrian laughed and lunged at the Slayer, tackling the boy to the ground. Rhett grunted as he was slammed into the ground, but he quickly kicked Adrian off of him.

"Not good enough," said Rhett, standing up. A blow from behind almost knocked Rhett face-forward, but he managed to maintain balance.

"Mm, did I not mention that I brought my friends?" asked Adrian.

Rhett looked around nervously. Surrounding Gwen, Rhett, and Adrian were about twelve vampires, all vaguely familiar beneath their contorted facial features.

"What the hell is this? Is the entire JV soccer team vamped?" asked Rhett, "Great. There's not gonna be a single player on varsity next year. Way to show team spirit."

"You can't face us all, Slayer," mocked Adrian, advancing on the boy.

"Funny thing," announced a voice from behind Adrian. Adrian turned around, only to see one of his comrades burst into flames. Carlos stepped through the ashes, standing where the vampire once had.

"He doesn't have to," came another voice. Adrian turned to face it, seeing a young woman with long black hair standing behind one of his vampire comrades, holding both of the vamp's arms behind his back painfully.

"Um, excuse me?" said Rhett, causing Adrian to turn back to him. Rhett held out his stake, a taunting smile on his face.

"Now may I have this dance?"

***

"Haha! Dude, that was so intense!" laughed Rhett, walking down the hallways of Sandia High School. "The looks on their faces! They so knew that they were screwed! That was so much fun."

"Yeah, maybe for you," groaned Carlos, walking next to Rhett. "You heal like Wolverine or something." Carlos gently touched his black eye and winced, then winced from the pain that wincing had caused in his sore muscles.

Rhett shrugged. "I'm sure I've got a bruise somewhere."

"Whatever. I hate you," sighed Carlos, opening the door to Ashley's classroom.

"Hey, if it isn't the Watcher! Did you enjoy watching the fight last night?" asked Rhett jokingly as he sat down.

Ashley sniffed. "I am not imbued with the ancestral strength to fight the forces of darkness," she answered. "I make no apologies."

Carlos became quiet and sat close to the bookshelf, distancing himself from Ashley's desk. Rhett shot him a questioning look, but Carlos had already pulled out a book and begun reading.

The door creaked open, and Ashley quickly scrambled to hide the broadsword she's been getting out back underneath her desk, and Carlos quickly closed the book he was reading and leaned over the cover.

"So this is like the headquarters?" asked Gwen, walking in and closing the door behind her. Ashley sighed in relief and stopped her failed attempt to hide the metallic weapon.

"Gwen? What are you doing here now? Did you seduce another vampire?" asked Rhett.

Gwen shook her head. "Nah."

All three faces looked at her questioningly.

"Well, I just came to train or whatever it is that you guys do in here. You know, curb the forces of evil!" she said, thrusting her fist into the air.

Silence.

"Um, well, not that I'm sure you couldn't do it, but," began Rhett.

"What?" demanded Gwen.

"Well, it's just that you're not really a Slayer or a witch or anything, so there's not much you can do here," explained Rhett nervously.

"Oh, what-ever," said Gwen, rolling her eyes. "There's plenty I can do. I can swing a sword. I can jab some wood into a vamp. Do you honestly think that after finding out that all the horror movies specials are real, I'm gonna just go home every night and watch tv? Hell no. I'm gonna fight evil, and whether you train me or I go out by myself and die because you wouldn't help me, I'm going to do it. Got it?"

Rhett gulped. Carlos coughed and resumed reading his book. Ashley sighed.

"Well, I guess we better get you enrolled in Nordic History."

***


	8. Chapter 8

Carlos' eye snapped open.

Something was very wrong. He couldn't tell where he was, and stranger, he couldn't smell the strong scent of sea salt in the air. Everything was dark and crowded, and it was starting to get noisy as strange creatures began lifting themselves off the ground and wandering around in confusion.

Carlos stood up, hand gripping his sword hilt instinctively. He looked at where he had been laying, and next to that spot, lay a girl in a revealing yet strange outfit. Carlos decided he liked the booty he saw.

"Arright, Gypsy, what do ye say we do about this wench?"

The blood-red feathered creature on his shoulder flapped its partially-decayed wings and let out a blood-curdling screech, its yellowed eyes glowing with hunger.

Carlos nodded. "That's what aye thought." With a smirk, he grabbed the unconscious girl up and threw her over his free shoulder. He looked around anxiously. "Now aye just need to recall where aye left the ship..."

***

MMMF.

He woke up with a low, guttural snort and stood up slowly. World was noisy. World was smelly. He didn't like World. He grunted unpleasantly and scratched his head. Everything was different, and it scared him. But more than that, it made him angry. He stomped angrily, but it did nothing to change the world around him. He stomped again, with the same results. He was getting very frustrated.

"Gryaaaah!!"

A very noisy creature was running at him, its red eyes lighting up its scaly face. With a grunt, he swung his club, knocking the creature aside easily. The demon slumped to the ground, unconscious, but he ignored it - instead, he stared intently at the club in his hand. He could feel something inside him, something that had been awakened by the club. Strange words flooded his mind, sounds that had no meaning attached to them: Slayer. Demons, vampires, duty. Evil. Good. Ancient powers. Hunt. Slay.

He shook his head in frustration and slammed his club into the ground, trying to comprehend the words in his head. And his mind grasped onto one word, one word that meant something to him.

Hunt.

He smiled and let out a loud whoop. Some other creature came rushing at him, its attention drawn to him because of his loud noise, but he merely slapped it away with a swing of his arm. He needed something to hunt. He sniffed the ground around him, and a familiar scent greeted him.

Enemy.

He jumped up and down, slamming his club against the ground in celebration, and then loped off into the night, intent on finding his enemy.

***

"What the HELL is going on?" Rachel shrieked, her voice almost hysterical. She stood in the center of a dark room, lit only by a few torches on the wall, giving barely enough light to illuminate the forms of two others in the room. Rachel's fists were balled up in anger, and her face was contorted by anger and fear. She glared daggers at the two other figures, but neither seemed concerned.

"Mm, I can tell you what's going on," answered one of the men, his voice sounding calm and controlling. He stood up into the light, walking closer to Rachel, his hand reaching out to brush her shoulder. Rachel looked at him indignantly, and he let out a laugh and ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair. His fangs glinted even in the dim lighting. "The only thing I see going on is this beautiful figure," he finished, looking her up and down hungrily.

"Back off," she growled. "I'm serious."

Damien leered, his fanged smile broadening. "Or else what?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and turned towards the other figure. "Tell me what is going on right now."

Damien brushed his hand along her waist, and Rachel whipped around to face him, her eyes blazing with fury.

"Damien! Cut the crap!"

Damien chuckled and pulled his hand back. "What's got you so riled up, Sol?"

Rachel raised her hands up dramatically. "THIS!" she screamed. "This body! This stupid form!"

Damien raised an eyebrow. "Seems perfect to me."

"But it's not just a form anymore!" she yelled. "I'm stuck in this form, and I want to know what the hell is going on!"

The other figure stood up, walking over to inspect Sol.

"You are correct, something is off," said Alec. "But it's not the magics. Something is affecting reality - guise has become truth."

"Yeah, figured that part out myself," snapped Rachel. "How do I fix it?"

Alec shrugged. "That's up to you. But you better figure it out quickly, because -"

"Yeah, yeah, 'the time is drawing near,'" groaned Rachel. "Whatever."

She spun on her heel and strode out of the room.

***

When she woke up, her first thought was that Doctor Lovebody was carrying her back to one of the empty rooms in the back was what, the third time this week that doctor has pulled her from her duties to ravage her in one of the empty beds. But after the last time, when she had realized that an elderly woman had been trying to recover in the bed next to them, Gwen swore that it was the last time. For this week anyways. Besides, she had an emergency room to run.

"Doctor," she sighed, "This has to end. I have duties to perform, and I'm sure you have patients to attend to. And really, what will you do when your wife -?"

She fell silent immediately when she realized that she was not perched on the tanned, muscular shoulder of Doctor Lovebody, and they were not headed towards the back room. She seemed to be on the shoulder of some pirate, if his hideous outfit and the parrot on his shoulder was any indication.

"What are you doing?" she demanded, kicking her legs wildly. The pirate simply chuckled at her attempts to escape.

"Where are ye in such a rush to, lassie?" he asked, looking at her with a toothy grin.

Gwen looked in horror at his face. It was strange and lumpy, forming an unnatural snarl. Gwen closed her eyes and screamed.

"Doctor! Doctor Lovebody!" she screamed, "Help me! Oh, please! I'll do anything - even if you want to include Candy Striper Ginger!"

The pirate hefted her up and dropped her onto the ground. Gwen looked around anxiously, but the doctor had not come to her rescue. She couldn't even see the intern, Brad Chiselabs, and she would have settled for being rescued by him.

"Aye, now, wench," said Carlos, looking her over. "Aye can't find my vessel, but aye suppose here will do." The parrot on his shoulder leered at her hungrily, the animal hunger in its eyes not at all different from that of its master's.

Gwen cringed, and quickly reached into the outfit's small pocket, praying she had a weapon of some kind. She grasped something and pulled it out defiantly. A tongue depressor. Her face fell with disappointment, but surprisingly, the pirate stopped in his advance.

"Aye, so ye know how to fight the tides of darkness, eh?"

Gwen didn't. But something in the back of her mind told her that yes, she did. She nodded her head bravely, hoping he wouldn't see past her bluff. All she had to do was stall the pirate, and Lovebody would show up.

The pirate shrugged. "No matter. Aye, my darkness is more than you've yet faced."

Gwen thrust out the tongue depressor, but the pirate swiftly avoided it. Before she could blink, his was face was inches from her own. His horrifying grin widened.

And suddenly, he wasn't there anymore. With a loud thump, a club knocked the pirate aside. Gwen pulled her arm in quickly, clutching the little wooden object to her body. A caveman stood over her, seeming to tower in his bulk, a loose skin cloth hanging from his overdeveloped body. His jaw jutted out, his eyebrows furrowed as he glared at the pirate.

"What's this?" said Carlos, standing up, having been momentarily stunned by the sudden blow. "Who dared attack me?"

The caveman simply grunted.

"Arright, ye want a fight, aye shall give it to ya," grinned the pirate. He raised his arm, and a flash of crimson flew down from the sky at the caveman. Gypsy's other-wordly screeches filled the air as the vampire bird clawed and bit at the caveman's face, but the apelike man was completely unfazed. With a grunt, he grabbed the demon bird out of the sky and threw it at the ground. Gypsy hit the ground with a pathetic squawk.

"The bird's just a sideshow," taunted Carlos, suddenly standing behind the caveman. The caveman grunted and swung at the vampire pirate, but Carlos dodged easily. The pirate lunged at the caveman's neck, but was met by the caveman's club.

Gwen stood up and ran. She needed to get out of here. Doctor Lovebody would know what to do.

***


	9. Chapter 9

Out of instinct, Solixas tried to change his - well, her, in this form - skin to something solid, like stone, when the giant walking boob ran into him. Her. Sol was rudely reminded that he was stuck in his mortal persona when the disgusting overgrown mammary knocked her to the ground. Solixas shook her head, partly stunned from being attacked by a large female body part, but even more from the confusion going on in his own brain. Never before had he had such chaos in his mind; Sol had never been so confused about his gender. Her gender. Before, there had only been one mindset: want, take, have. Sol could change his form without a second thought to what gender that really made him to get what he wanted. He'd always just been Sol. But now he was "Rachel," a deliciously attractive female, but completely pathetic in just about every aspect that mattered right now. What use were beautiful legs against demons and walking boobs?

Sol stood up and dusted herself off, checking for bruises. That really wouldn't be attractive. She rolled her eyes at her own thought. After all, once she stopped whatever was going on, she could just erase any bruises from her form. Berating herself for having suck stupid girly impulses, Sol continued walking along the sidewalk, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. Or extra suspicious, at least. Again, Sol wondered how humans could make it through their lives with such pathetic senses. She was so used to just opening her mind, allowing others' emotions to flood her being until she could filter out what she was looking for, or at least find an emotion strong enough to give her power. But now all she could do was use her pathetic five senses, and they weren't getting her anywhere. Him anywhere. Whatever.

"Help! No, someone, help! Doctor!" screamed a voice. Sol didn't care. Sol stopped walking. She'd had to tell herself that she didn't care.

The voice screamed again, louder this time. Sol turned. A small girl in a nurse outfit was being wrestled to the ground by a group of stupid-looking little red demons, complete with horns and pointed tails. Sol wasn't even sure they were real demons, at least outside of this night's weird reality. But the girl's screams definitely were real. Without thinking, Sol ran towards the girl with surprising speed.

So there is a bonus to these legs, she thought.

"Back off," she yelled, kicking one of the demons in the stomach. The demon squealed and fell back, and Sol grabbed one of the others by its tail and yanked it off the girl. The demons all began squealing frantically and ran off. Sol smiled victoriously, but it felt empty for some reason. Sol realized that the demons, at least before the spell or whatever had hit, had probably been babies - no one over the age of five would dress up in a little devil outfit. Sure, they hadn't been infants when they were attacking, but the thought still bothered Sol. The fact that it bothered her bothered her.

"Oh, thank you!" said the girl at Sol's feet. She stood up, adjusting her short dress and stethoscope. "I don't know what I would have done! Is there any way I can repay you?" she asked, running her hands along her body suggestively.

Sol raised her eyebrow. "Uh, no thanks," she said, turning to leave.

"No! You can't leave me!" the other girl exclaimed, her voice panicked. "I'll die!"

For some reason Sol cared. She stopped walking and turned to face the girl again. The nurse looked battered and frightened, and though somehow still exuding an aura of promiscuity, her eyes glittered with fearful tears. A foreign feeling wrenched inside Sol, and suddenly she understood what it was. This form, this stupid human form! With the reality of her human body had come a human soul. A filthy human soul. It felt wrong inside her, gross and unfamiliar. She knew it wasn't hers; the soul felt tacked on, like a "kick me" sign taped onto her back.

Sol had to get out of this body.

"WIll you help me?" asked the nurse, snapping Solixas out of her thoughts.

Sol nodded numbly, looking over the girl. "Wait, do I know you?" she asked. Despite the outlandish get-up, something about the girl seemed familiar.

The nurse looked at her, searching for something familiar.

"Oh, I know!" exclaimed Sol, her eyes lighting up. "You're in my math class!"

The girl's eyes were blank.

"Come on, you don't remember me? I just like stood up in front of the class a few hours ago!" She said. Sol mentally kicked herself for adding in the word "like."

Gwen's eyes lit up. "I remember you! I think... did we go to school together before?" She closed her eyes, concentrating hard. "Yes! You're that girl, Rachel. From that school! That school with the weird stuff... like those things that were attacking me earlier!"

"What?"

Gwen nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, I remember it all now! In school there were strange things, too - demons, witches, slayer... I know this stuff!" She pulled out the tongue depressor triumphantly. "It's like a stake! She taught me this sort of thing!"

Sol's eyebrow raised. "She taught you? The math teacher?"

Gwen shook her head. "No, no... but maybe she can still help us! Come on!"

She started walking off hurriedly, holding the tongue depressor out protectively. She paused, then turned around.

"Um... where is the high school? I don't remember."

***

Gwen had remembered high school as being a pretty hectic place, but never this crazy. The nurse and her companion hadn't been the first to break into the school - around every corner, some demon, overgrown animal, or zombie football player was lurking, making it almost impossible to make it anywhere in the school. They'd even had to avoid going through the cafeteria, thanks to the ghost of some lunchlady flinging food and tables everywhere, so Gwen and Rachel had to go the longer way, winding through halls that Gwen was sure hadn't existed back when she'd gone there.

"Where is this room?" whispered Rachel impatiently. "If we run into one more jock trying to eat my brains or get into my pants, I'm going to kill myself."

"I think it's this one," answered Gwen, pointing. "This seems right."

The door was already open, so the two girls slipped in quietly.

"Anything lurking?" asked Rachel, scanning the room.

Gwen shook her head. "Just that thing. It doesn't look evil. It doesn't look smart enough to be evil," said Gwen, pointing to a random chicken walking underneath the desks, pecking at food that obviously wasn't there, then looking severely surprised that it was still hungry.

"So where's this teacher?"

Gwen shrugged, looking confused. "I don't know. This is where I thought she'd be."

"Well when did you last see her?" asked Rachel.

Gwen strained to remember her life before the long nights with Doctor Lovebody. Before the strenuous intern hours with Doctor Touchgood. Even before the in-depth anatomy lessons with Professor Longrod. But Gwen could barely remeber seeing the teacher outside of this room. It struck her as kind of insult that the teacher hadn't even come to her graduation, but then again, she couldn't even remember her graduation. Maybe she had ditched it for something more... active.

"Can you even remember?" pressed Rachel.

"Yes, I know I can," answered Gwen, focusing back on the image of the teacher... Ashley. Ashley, standing in front of the classroom, looking proper and on-task. Ashley, with a stake in hand, demonstrating some stupid-looking technique to slay a vampire to Rhett. Ashley, dressed entirely in bright yellow feathers...

"That's it!" exclaimed Gwen, rushing over to the chicken. The bird squawked and tried to escape, but Gwen scooped it up before it could get anywhere.

"What the hell?" asked Rachel.

"This is her! This is the teacher!"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "A chicken taught you about demons."

"No, don't you get it? This is a spell or something!" she said, shaking the chicken in her arms. The bird's head bobbed around, its stupid eyes looking confused. "I've seen her dressed up as a chicken! And now she's a chicken! And that caveman earlier... I think he was Rhett! I get it now!"

Rachel shrugged. "So what now?"

Gwen looked around at all the books on the shelves. She hadn't remembered there being so many. So many....

"I guess we research," she said, a distasteful look on her face.

***

Carlos was pleased. It had taken him a little while to gain his bearings, especially after the fight with the extremely out-of-place apeman; even Gypsy was still recovering after having her wing smashed by the caveman's club, but the parrot had managed to kill something. Her wing was slowly healing, and the blood dripping from her beak was making Carlos a little hungry. And Carlos had finally gotten everything in order. Captain Carlos now. Sure, he still couldn't find a ship - he couldn't even see any signs of there being a body of water nearby - but he had secured himself a crew that fit the strangeness of this town. Pirates of all shapes and sizes, and even a few different species, were all under his command, and they were busy doing what pirates do best.

People and creatures screamed and ran as Carlos led his crew through the street, his curved blade held high. A group of pirates that all called themselves "Sparrow" chased a group of slutty cheerleaders, yelling out various threats and obscenities in their identical accents while some run-of-the-mill pirates smashed in car windows and slashed shrubbery with their weapons or hook hands. A large bear, with a gold hoop earring and a hook replacing one of its large claws, lumbered after various demons and whatever else got in its way, letting out a deafening roar as he attacked a policeman that thought he could oppose the pirate bear. The creature smashed the officer aside with a swing of its massive paw, sending the man flying into a wrecked car that sat in the intersection.

Captain Carlos wasn't sure he could remember ever having more fun in his unlife.

"Muggh."

Carlos stopped surveying the chaos his crew was creating, facing forwards to the voice that had spoken. The caveman from earlier stood before him, his club dragging on the ground, his misshapen face glaring threateningly at Carlos.

"Nu negatuwa proherrghe," ordered the caveman.

The horde of pirates stopped whatever they were doing and looked at the man opposing their captain. A few stepped forward, drawing their weapons, but Carlos raised his hand to halt them.

"This one is mine," he growled, staring back at the caveman, only the slightest hint of fear lingering in his eye. He lowered his blade, steadying it for attack, while the caveman raised his club.

"Slay," grunted the caveman, lunging at the vampirate.

Carlos' eye widened at the word. He crouched to avoid the swinging club, but somehow the caveman had predicted his move. The caveman kicked Carlos in the head, and Carlos felt his neck snap as he fell to the ground. For just a second, everything had made sense to Carlos, why the caveman was so fast, so strong, so resolute in his desire to kill him. Slayer. And then everything fell back into chaos in his mind. The word struck more than fear inside him, and he couldn't understand the familiarity. Carlos lay limply on the ground as his neck healed, trying to figure out what was going on, but his mind couldn't decipher even half of what was running through it. The caveman kicked Carlos again, and the pirate's eye snapped open. He caught himself mid-roll and stood up, fangs gleaming.

"Aye, it will take a mite more than that to slay me," he growled. The caveman didn't respond, just swung his club again.

***

"Get off me!" yelled Sol, struggling with yet another pirate. The pirate held her firmly, one arm around her neck and the other holding her arms immobile. Sol quickly jerked her head back, hitting the pirate in the face. The pirate yelled and grabbed his nose, freeing the teenager. Solixas turned around angrily, only to see Gwen kick the pirate in the shins, knocking him to the ground.

"Why are we doing this again?" Sol asked, rubbing her neck.

"I told you, because we can't kill it ourselves. We need help," answered Gwen, brushing off her dress and stepping over the pirate's whimpering form. She looked around quickly and found the chicken that had escaped her arms before her attack, and swooped the bird up in her arms. "And if I'm right and they are my old friends, then they need help too."

Sol really couldn't understand this girl. For one, carrying around a chicken was just useless. Secondly, she couldn't understand the nurse's fixation on helping people that she couldn't even properly remember. It just didn't make sense.

"Why can't we just kill the demon and find your friends after?"

Gwen looked around for any other pirates nearby, but there didn't seem to be any paying attention to them. "We can't kill it ourselves, I told you! And... well, what if they hurt someone?"

Sol groaned. It was a dumb reason, but it tugged at something inside her. "Whatever. Where are they?"

Gwen stared forward, her eyes fixated on something before her. "I think... right there."

Sol looked in the direction Gwen was staring and flinched. Fighting wildly in the street was an extremely beefy-looking caveman and another pirate that was somehow surviving the caveman's blows.

"Those are your friends?"

"I think so," Gwen replied, nodding. She began running towards the two. "Come on!"

Sol sighed, reminding herself - or himself, whatever - that this was the only way she could return back to normal. She picked up the sword that the pirate had dropped and followed Gwen across the street.

"Hey! Stop it, you two!" screamed Gwen. Sol froze, unable to believe the girl's actions.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, "You can't just scream at them!"

"I just did," said Gwen, confused.

"I thought you'd at least try to knock them out first or something!"

The caveman grunted and stopped pummeling the pirate for a second, looking at the two girls questioningly. The pirate quickly moved away from the caveman and looked over at the girls.

"Ah, wench!" he exclaimed, looking at Gwen, "You brought another snack!"

Sol raised her sword. "Shut up. Don't even try anything, Captain Crunch."

In the blink of an eye, the vampirate was gone. He reappeared in front of Sol and knocked her sword aside easily.

"Try anything? You mean like this?" he asked, grabbing Sol's body and pulling her close. Sol flinched and tried to scream, but the sound wouldn't come out. And suddenly it was piercing her, he was penetrating her, his body hunched over her's, hungrily feeding from her. Sol punched at him, but her moves were sluggish. Her eyelids suddenly seemed so heavy, and despite the warmth gushing from her, she'd never felt so cold...

Carlos pulled away and dropped her body to the ground. He wiped his lips and smiled. "By the way, aye love the accent."

"No!" screamed Gwen, rushing to Sol's side. Carlos made a move towards that small nurse, but the caveman quickly knocked him down.

"Rachel! Can you hear me?" asked the nurse frantically, pressing her fingers against the girl's wrist. The pulse was weak, but it was there.

Sol smiled woozily. She was just so tired. He was tired? It was too confusing to think about right now. "I dun think I like your friends too much..." Warm hands touched her, examined her neck. Something pressed against it, wrapped tightly around her neck.

"You'll be okay," assured Gwen, securing the bandage around the girl's neck. She patted Rachel's shoulder and stood up, holding the chicken in one arm and her tongue depressor in the other. The caveman was standing over the vampire, rattling the demon's body wildly. Gwen walked over and nudged the caveman. He looked at her, then stepped back from Carlos. Gwen took his place standing over the pirate, and firmly held the tongue depressor against Carlos' chest. His eye widened in fear and his body froze.

"Now you listen," said Gwen firmly, "I'm not killing you for one reason, and one reason only. If you cooperate with me, you'll make it through the night. If not, we won't have this conversation again. Understand?"

Despite the ridiculous nurse outfit and the chicken clucking idly in her arms, the girl seemed threatening enough. Carlos nodded.

Gwen nodded in reply and turned away. She struggled to pick up Rachel, but managed to prop the barely-conscious girl against her shoulder. Gwen faced Carlos sternly. "We need to find a particular demon," she said, pulling something out of her pocket. She unfolded the piece of paper and held it out to Carlos. "This one. Keep your eye open." She turned to the caveman and just motioned for him to follow. She didn't really think he'd understand her anyways. He grunted and followed the three as they made their way down the street, eyeing the vampirate suspiciously every few seconds. If only Doctor Lovebody could see her now.

***


	10. Chapter 10

Russ knew this had been a stupid idea. He always knew that listening to Dean and Tyler was stupid, really. He shouldn't have listened when they told him to ask Kerri Wilson if she was a lesbian. He shouldn't have listened when they told him to use his room as the headquarters for their rat breeding business. He shouldn't have listened when they told him snort lime salt to impress Leanna, the freshman class president. So it was no surprise to him that listening to Dean and Tyler and summoning a Jurago demon to make their costumes look more realistic had been a stupid idea.

Russ was just glad that his mom hadn't bought him the decapitated head costume he'd wanted and that he'd just gone as a ghost. It had made his night a lot less stressful when Tyler pulled the butcher's knife out of his head and tried to cleave Russ' head off and when Dean's cyborg arm transformed into a machine gun to blow him away that he was suddenly intangible. It even made the fact that the Jurago was stalking him a little bit less stressful. He was pretty sure that Dean and Tyler were okay even after the Jurago had attacked them, since their costumes were both already dead anyways, but still it made him nervous everytime he saw the seven-foot-tall demon approaching him. After all, it made sense that if the demon could alter reality, that the demon could kill a ghost despite its posthumous state.

Russ really didn't like Halloween.

The boy scratched his head, wracking his mind for an idea of where to hide. For the past hour he had hidden inside a brick wall, complimenting himself on his clever thinking. But the Jurago didn't have a problem pummeling through the wall, and now Russ was out of clever ideas for places to hide. He contemplated flying up high enough that the demon couldn't reach him, but he was pretty scared of heights and he worried that the demon's effect on the world could wear off just as he got high enough in the air that the fall would be fatal. He groaned and wondered for the millionth time that night why real ghosts didn't seem to have plasma rays and stuff like Danny Phantom.

hisssssssssssssssssssssssssss...

Russ snapped out of his fantasies quickly at the sound of the demon approaching. The creature's heavy footfalls seemed to shake the ground, but Russ was shaking too much to tell if it was the world or just him.

The giant demon rounded the corned, and Russ was once again reminded just how much the picture in the summoning book had failed to capture the demon's appearance. While the book had made it look like little more than some kind of pokemon, in person Russ had never seen anything more frightening - and he'd seen things: watching all of the rats in his room end up eating each other, Kerri's face twisted with rage as she punched him in the face - the Jurago topped them all. The demon stood at least seven feet tall, like some blood-red dinosaur creature, gnashing teeth and steaming spikes jutting out from various parts of its hulking body.

Why couldn't we have just summoned a Pikachu?

Just as Russ braced himself to die, or at least to experience the undoubtedly painful sensation of the demon's burning claw swiping through him, a brightly-colored bird dove out of the sky, ripping out one of the Jurago's eyes. The demon roared in pain, clutching its eye as it swiped at the airborne creature.

"There it is!"

Russ looked behind the bulky demon to see an odd group of people rushing at the demon. A pirate with a glowing yellow eye lunged at the demon, slashing wildly at it with his sword while a caveman knocked out the Jurago's legs with a sickening crunch. A small sexy nurse slowly set another girl down, leaning her against a wall while the other two pummeled the demon. The nurse rummage through her pockets before pulling out a silvery dagger and a small leathery pouch of some sort.

"Be careful!" called out Russ anxiously, as the Jurago punched at the caveman. The caveman rolled out of the way, and the demon punched the asphalt, leaving a smoldering crater of tar. The pirate jammed his sword into the creature's back, and the crimson demon roared in pain. The caveman once again slammed his club into the Jurago's legs, and the demon came crashing down.

"No, don't!" screamed Russ as he watched the nurse rush towards the demon, unfolding a piece of paper as she ran. "He'll kill you!"

The nurse just smiled at Russ and plunged the dagger into the demon's chest. She opened the pouch and threw the powder inside all over the demon. She fumbled with the paper, struggling to read the words written on it.

"Ti et in caelo, DESPARE!"

Russ' eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the ground, just like everyone else in the town.

***

"Can you believe it?" asked Carlos, throwing the newspaper against the desk. "They just blamed it on teenagers!"

Rhett nodded, mumbling a reply.

"Well it was teenagers' fault," pointed out Ashley, not looking up from the homework at her desk.

"Freshmen," retorted Carlos hotly. "They really don't count. And besides, teenagers stopped it, too. Do they bother to mention that?"

"And they didn't bother reporting how hot my outfit was, either," said Gwen. "Life is full of little disappointments. I don't know why you're crying anyways, Blackbeard. You're lucky they don't just pin it all on you."

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Whatever. At least I wasn't the one moaning all night about 'Doctor Lovebody.'"

Ashley raised an eyebrow, but she knew better than to say anything.

"You're just mad that you didn't get to plunder this booty," taunted Gwen, sticking out her tongue as she ran her hands over her body.

"I wouldn't touch it!" replied Carlos. "Not after... what was his name? Chiselabs?"

"At least I've gotten touch!"

"That wasn't even real! Doctor Lovebody never existed!"

"That's not the point!"

"Students, please," sighed Ashley, standing up, rubbing her temples.

Carlos and Gwen both turned to her, smiling devilishly.

"Yes, Chicken Little?"

"We're just messing around," smiled Carlos. "Don't have an egg about it."

Ashley took in a breath, but was cut off before she could say anything.

"Oh, here she goes, clucking her tongue at us again."

"I think she's pretty fried from everything that's been going on," laughed Carlos.

"Just scrambled her brain," agreed Gwen.

Ashley sat down, defeated.

"Hey, Kurtz!" said Carlos, his voice gaining momentum with every second. "Why did the Watcher cross the road?"

Gwen and Carlos erupted with laughter. Ashley rolled her eyes at them and continued grading. The laughter slowly died down, and Gwen turned her attention to studying the book in front of her.

Carlos looked over at Rhett, who had been sitting quietly since class had started. "Hey, bro, you okay?" he asked.

Rhett looked up, looking startled from being torn from his thoughts. His eyes brightened and he forced a smile. "Yeah, completely okay," he said. "I'm just, um, you know. My mind's adjusting back to Algebraic equations and pop culture and stuff. Just trying to keep myself from picking bugs out of your hair or trying to invent fire. "

Carlos smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I keep wanting to go find some rum. Or wenches. Or both."

Rhett nodded and smiled until Carlos turned his attention back to the spell book before him. His smile fell, leaving his face blank, and he slouched down in his chair and pretended to read whatever Ashley had given him to read.

It was all different now.


End file.
